SEASONS: Meet the Mom Panel with Lori Milner, Therese Bam & Jolandi Becker
There are many Seasons in our lives, good ones, bad ones, ones where We are thriving, or seasons where We just don't feel like making it through... And you might be wondering, when is it my Season to bloom and sparkle?
Ons gesels met 3 merkwaardige Vroue wat openhartig vertel van hul moeilike, en opwindende, "Seisoene." Maar elke moeilike seisoen gebeur dalk met 'n goeie rede, en sodra ons besluit wat die les daarin is, verander dinge.
"We always have a choice, we choose how we experience our Seasons," says Lori Milner.
Along with Therese Bam, and Jolandi Becker, our panel of Moms share the lessons they learnt from the challenging seasons they faced, to find that blossom and sparkle again with a new Season of Joy!
Brought to you by Epi-Max Baby & Junior - Our Family, for Your Family. Supported by Jacaranda FM.
Meet the Mom Panel
LORI MILNER
Lori Milner is a Master Life Coach, TEDx speaker, trainer, author and founder of Beyond the Dress, a consultancy dedicated to helping professionals thrive personally and professionally.
Her work focuses on personal mastery, emotional intelligence, resilience, communication, leadership and sustainable behaviour change. Through corporate training, workshops, keynote presentations and coaching, Lori equips individuals and teams with practical tools to build confidence, overcome internal barriers and turn insight into meaningful action.
She has worked with leading organisations across South Africa and globally, including Standard Bank, FNB, Liberty, Sanlam, Hollard and Siemens. At the heart of her work is the concept of “micro-wins” — small, intentional actions that can create powerful and lasting change.
JOLANDI BECKER
Jolandi Becker is Director at Good Night and spokesperson for BabyWombWorld. With 12 years of experience helping families achieve better sleep, she is passionate about providing evidence-based guidance alongside compassionate, personalised support.
Jolandi believes there is no one-size-fits-all approach to children’s sleep. Instead, she works with families to understand their individual circumstances and create practical, sustainable solutions that suit their needs, routines and parenting style.
THERESE BAM
Therese Bam (formerly Benade) is a South African actress, presenter, content producer and entrepreneur with more than 25 years of experience in the entertainment industry. She is well known for her role as Katryn in Song vir Katryn and has appeared in productions including 7de Laan, Villa Rosa, Home Affairs, Suidooster, Kompleks and Die Kantoor. She has also worked extensively as a presenter and content producer for kykNET’s Kwêla.
In 2024, Therese and longtime friend Jana Nortier turned a humorous conversation between friends into Kies Jou Kat, a proudly personality-driven brand inspired by their friendship, shared humour and love of cats. What began with a greeting card and handmade mug has grown into a range of characters and products, with Therese building the business from her home in Hout Bay.
Kies Jou Kat launched its online store in 2026, marking the next chapter in Therese’s unexpected journey from actress and ceramicist to entrepreneur.
Podcast Transcript
Prefer to read instead? Here’s the full transcript from this episode of the Baby Brunch Podcast.
Short on time? Scroll to the key takeaways below.
ELANA AFRIKA-BREDENKAMP
If I had to ask each of you to describe what you do for a living, I’ll first tell you who I am today.
Today, I’m a working mom who’s missing her children.
I’m in Cape Town and I’m waiting for them to come home. I’m also incredibly grateful. I’ve stepped out of a week of conferencing, so I feel like I’m a working mom with a lot of gratitude.
Therese, if I had to ask you who you are today, who are you?
THERESE BAM
Today, I’m overwhelmed and exhausted!
I’m also a working mom who hasn’t slept since one o’clock this morning. My husband had a neck operation a week ago, and I’m trying to catch up on orders that are really far behind in my tiny little entrepreneurial business.
ELANA
Jolandi Becker, good to see you here. Who are you today?
JOLANDI BECKER
I’m also a working mom. I have three jobs, and I’m a runner.
ELANA
Love that. Did you go for a run this morning?
JOLANDI
No, today I played golf.
ELANA
Love her so much!
Lori Milner — whenever I call Lori, I say, “Hey Lori, coach of the stars!”
Lori, who are you today?
LORI MILNER
Who am I?
I want to start by saying: actually, I’m Lori.
One of my roles is being a working mom and a wife.
I get to live my passion and do what I love, probably mostly in the mornings, and then I’m a glorified Uber driver in the afternoons!
Not that my kids aren’t my passion and my joy, but I think that’s probably the split.
ELANA
The reason I asked you this is because it’s September, and I decided we need to talk about seasons.
We always talk about how spring is our favourite season because it’s a time for things to bloom and a time for things to grow.
But if we work with the word season, so many of us are in so many different seasons.
Spring reminds me of nature, and yes, it reminds me of flowers blooming, but maybe it also reminds us of things we need to let go of.
Maybe it reminds us of things we need to start.
Maybe it reminds us that, as women, we go through different seasons.
That’s why I brought such a lovely mixed bag of professionals, working moms, fun moms and generally very busy people into our studio.
There’s the season before motherhood – and, oh boy, there’s the season of motherhood!
There are seasons of sleepless nights and building careers.
Here on Parent and Baby Brunch, we’ve had seasons where we’ve laughed and seasons where we’ve been barely breathing.
There are seasons of menopause. Therese, I can’t wait to chat to you!
And then there’s the season of simply surviving. You know when someone asks, “How are you doing?” and you say, “We’re surviving.”
So, welcome to our three guests.
Lori Milner is a master life coach, TEDx speaker and founder of Beyond the Dress. You’ve also seen her on our Baby Brunch podcasts and Mind at Work. She helps people create lasting change through practical, everyday micro-wins. She’s a wife and mother of two and has spent a lot of her time helping many, many people.
Then we have Jolandi Becker, director of Good Night and spokesperson for BabyWombWorld. She has spent more than a decade helping families find better sleep through compassionate, evidence-based support. She believes every family deserves a personalised approach because no two parenting journeys are the same.
And then Therese Bam. Thank you for your humour!
Therese is a well-known actress, ceramic artist and co-founder of the brand Kies Jou Kat. You have to follow them on social media.
What started as a joke between two lifelong friends has become a business built on humour and friendship – and humour can often be found in a season that’s actually very difficult to experience.
Therese, give me some context. What happened, and how did Kies Jou Kat come about?
THERESE
I think, as South Africans, we share a certain sense of humour. We laugh through things.
Kies Jou Kat really started through friendship, humour and us experimenting with an idea. It became something that brought us joy, and that was what we wanted to spread.
ELANA
I love that – the idea of joy.
I’ve known you for such a long time, and I’ve seen you through so many different programmes and so many different seasons.
You’ve had seasons as a young woman, seasons of motherhood and so many others.
If you could choose, what has been one of the most beautiful seasons of your life, and what has been one of the hardest?
THERESE
One of the beautiful things has been being able to start a new season and create something – to build a brand and see something actually take shape.
There’s such joy in that.
One of the hardest seasons of my life was infertility.
There were years of struggling, years of trying, disappointment and everything that comes with that.
That was incredibly difficult.
ELANA
When did you realise that humour can actually be healing?
Because even in comedy, there’s often something very serious underneath it.
In South Africa, even with our politics and our challenges, we often make something funny and somehow it becomes easier to carry.
When did you realise humour could do that?
THERESE
I don’t know if there was one moment.
Humour has always been my go-to. Sarcasm too!
As South Africans, we tend to laugh through things. Maybe it’s not always appropriate, but it’s something we do.
It has always been part of who I am.
And with Kies Jou Kat, I took a chance.
I didn’t know whether it would work. I still don’t always know!
But it makes me happy.
I’ve been through difficult times in my life and I think what people enjoy about it is that it feels honest.
It isn’t trying too hard to be a joke.
It’s just honest South African humour.
ELANA
We keep talking about “kat”, so explain the concept for us.
THERESE
The concept is that you “choose your kat”.
There are different characters, different moods and different versions because, let’s be honest, you can feel like a different person every five minutes!
That’s part of the fun of it.
ELANA
I think it’s such a great concept.
We do a lot of work around menopause on Baby Brunch, and I can already imagine all the different “kats” that could come from the different moods and symptoms of menopause!
I think it’s wonderful.
Lori, whenever I think of Beyond the Dress, I think about how you help people carry life.
But more recently, I received one of your newsletters and I was actually worried.
For the first time, I thought: coaches are people too.
You’ve walked through beautiful and remarkable seasons, and through seasons in which you’ve grown as a coach.
What happened that made you redefine your message?
LORI
Firstly, thank you for the opportunity to be here again.
The short version is that I had a very interesting teacher come into my life.
Sometimes teachers arrive as mentors. Sometimes you find them in a book or in people you don’t even know.
My teacher arrived with a bulging disc and a pinched nerve.
I had been sitting with discomfort for quite a while. We tend to get used to things.
And even though you say coaches are human, I did what most high-functioning – sometimes delusional – people do.
I thought, “If I just keep going and ignore it, it’ll probably go away.”
Long story short: it did not go away.
I found myself tolerating more and more. The more you adapt to pain, the more you start making the situation normal.
I’m someone who had meditated for 10 years and it got to the point where I couldn’t even sit on the floor anymore.
Eventually, I had surgery.
As far as back surgery goes, it wasn’t a massive procedure, but it was still back surgery.
And it turned out to be one of my biggest teachers.
One of the biggest lessons for me was understanding how much identity plays a role.
When you see yourself as the strong one and the independent one, and suddenly you have to question what you’re capable of doing, it affects you.
There had almost never been limits for me. I’m not saying I thought I was invincible, but I’d never really had to think about it.
Suddenly, I was limited to three 10-minute walks a day.
You start asking: if I’m not the strong one, then who am I?
What was particularly interesting is that I did a TEDx talk in 2018 about creating micro-wins – essentially a formula for progress.
The idea is to celebrate small wins, no matter how small.
Then I found myself becoming irritated because all I could do was a 10-minute walk.
And I thought: “I’m the micro-wins person, and I’m dismissing my own small progress!”
It forced me to question my identity.
Eventually, I called it my season of recovery.
Once I said, “This is my season of recovery,” everything fitted into place.
My rehab belonged in this season.
Being able to do only certain things belonged in this season.
And then I started celebrating the progress and noticing when something came back that I couldn’t have done three weeks earlier.
I developed this amazing appreciation for it.
ELANA
I must say, this whole idea of calling the season came from one of your newsletters.
When I opened it, I was so inspired, and that’s why I called the other ladies together.
I thought: let’s all announce our seasons.
I know you as someone who almost seems invincible.
You exercise, you train, you meditate. You’re always positive because your life is filled with tools.
You have amazing mentors and lessons that you teach others.
I’m in coaching sessions with you, which I really enjoy, and your newsletters are always inspiring.
So when I opened this letter and read about your season, and realised your teacher in this season was back surgery, I was surprised.
Then I thought: what a different way of looking at something.
Something difficult can actually become something meaningful when you call it a season.
It becomes your teacher.
LORI
Absolutely.
When any of us go through a difficult season, we have a choice.
We can resent the season and say, “This shouldn’t be happening.”
Or we can say, “Right. What is this here to teach me? How am I going to grow from this?”
I can’t necessarily change what’s happening, but how I show up for it is going to make a big difference.
Another huge lesson for me was realising what happens when we compare an old version of ourselves with ourselves in a new season.
We create unrealistic expectations.
If I compare myself after surgery to what I could do before surgery, I’m going to frustrate myself.
Instead, I can say, “This is my season. This is what recovery looks like. This is what I can do now.”
Not every day is sunshine and rainbows.
Some days are incredibly difficult.
It took me a long time to reach acceptance and say, “Okay. This is happening. This is the season I’m in.”
But once I could say, “Fine, this is what it is,” I could also step back and realise that, in the whole scheme of things, this may be the story of one year when I wasn’t functioning at full capacity.
And it’s going to change.
You find the lessons in it.
ELANA
Do you ever look at the season and think, “Why don’t I just call this the season of being unable to do anything?”
When you’re ill, not feeling well or your health is compromised, the last thing you naturally think is, “This is my season of growth.”
We gravitate towards negativity because it’s hard.
LORI
Absolutely.
I think I inherited a lot of this from my late dad, but I don’t want to live in negativity because it isn’t a resourceful state.
That doesn’t mean spiritually bypassing things and pretending everything is great.
I had days where I said, “I’m actually really angry today. I’m really frustrated today.”
But I didn’t want to live there.
I’d say, “Okay, stay here today. You’re entitled to feel this. But then let’s keep moving forward.”
Because I had gone from being able to do so much to almost nothing, anything I was eventually allowed to do became incredible.
A week after surgery, walking around my garden for 10 minutes was physically so hard.
Then you keep doing it.
That’s what micro-wins are.
Follow the process. Follow the process.
It isn’t one big moment.
Eventually you realise, “Wow. This is actually working. This is moving me forward. I couldn’t do this before.”
So, for anyone moving through a difficult season and experiencing negativity – because of course you will – do it with kindness towards yourself.
Don’t punish yourself or hold yourself to ransom and say, “Until you get there, I’m not going to be kind to you.”
Instead, say, “This is where we are.”
Whatever you can do, celebrate it.
It’s kindness. It’s compassion.
This is what healing looks like.
You need to be your own cheerleader through it.
ELANA
I never thought that one day our conversation would be about a season like this.
I want to say that you’re incredible, and I’m so happy that you’re recovering.
We usually talk about things like creating a wonderful workplace or staying resilient as a mom.
For you to become vulnerable in this way, I really appreciate it.
And I want to wish you a season of forever-health because I never want to see you in pain again!
What surprised you the most during this season?
I’ll share something from my side.
August was my season of manifestation. I was doing all the tools and thinking, “I’m going to manifest this,” and things started going really well.
Then when they actually did go well, I was surprised!
I thought, “Hey, it’s actually working.”
Was there anything that happened during your recovery that surprised you, particularly because you’d never really been ill before?
LORI
I want to touch on what you just said.
When things start to show up and fall into place after you’ve thought about them, don’t you get that sense of absolute awe?
It’s amazing.
For me, what really surprised me was that my husband is the one with the bad back.
He’s had a spinal fusion and disc replacements in his neck.
Suddenly, I was the person walking into the same surgeon’s office.
There was this absolute disbelief: “This is not me.”
I was walking around carrying a pillow to restaurants.
If I went to the cinema or one of my kids’ plays, I had to think carefully about where I sat because I couldn’t sit for too long. I needed to be able to stand up after about 20 minutes.
Suddenly, you’re renegotiating your entire life around discomfort.
That first sense of “this isn’t me” was quite a shock.
But all those resilience tools we talk about helped me through the season.
I could become resentful, or I could accept it and ask, “What is this here to teach me?”
It also taught my kids something.
It taught me to ask for help and say, “I can do this,” or, “I can’t do this.”
When you’ve always seen yourself as the strong one, it’s an identity shift to realise you aren’t invincible.
Asking for help and being real also makes you realise how blessed you are by the people around you.
ELANA
For me, asking for help is incredibly hard too because I’m the one who does everything.
I’m good at it, and I want to do it!
So I think it’s beautiful that this season taught you that you can ask for help and that people will be there.
LORI
Absolutely.
Another incredible aha moment came about three months after the operation.
I started seeing a biokineticist to work out the correct exercises and how to heal properly.
He did an assessment and found a deficit between my right leg and my left leg. The right side was where the surgery had affected me and it was significantly weaker.
He gave me a set of exercises – stretches and strengthening exercises – about 20 minutes every day.
When you’re doing them, you sometimes think, “Is this really helping?”
Two months later, the deficit was corrected.
There was no longer a difference.
You go, “Wow.”
That continued to motivate me.
The smallest things make a difference.
You can feel strength returning.
I could feel myself coming back to myself.
If you follow the process, stop questioning it and just keep doing the little things, that is where progress comes from.
It gave me a new appreciation for the body and for trusting the process, even when you can’t see it working yet.
ELANA
Trusting the process even when you can’t see it working.
I love that.
Jolandi, let’s come back to the season that you’re in.
You’ve changed so many families’ lives.
Helping parents through one of the hardest seasons of their lives – sleep deprivation – is such an incredible thing.
Never mind sleep-training the babies, sometimes I feel like I need to sleep!
What problem did you see that you knew you could help fix?
JOLANDI
At the end of the day, I think sleep chose me because I didn’t sleep for such a long time.
I had a toddler who wasn’t sleeping for about two years and then a baby who also wasn’t sleeping.
Sleep chose me.
I was a struggling mom.
I was exhausted. I felt helpless. I felt like nothing I was doing was helping.
I was reading everything, and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.
It made me feel like a bad mom because somehow everyone else’s children around me seemed to be sleeping amazingly well, yet I had two children who weren’t sleeping.
Eventually, I reached the point where I realised I needed help.
I brought in professional help and, within two or three days, my children were sleeping.
I couldn’t believe it.
I thought: this isn’t actually so complicated.
It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t complicated.
And it was absolutely life-changing.
I felt empowered as a mom.
I couldn’t understand how something this important wasn’t something we were all aware of.
It changed my life through my own children and my own exhaustion.
ELANA
How far apart are they? How old are they now?
JOLANDI
They’re 13 and 15 now, but at that point they were babies – around two years apart.
ELANA
Every season teaches us something.
I listen to Therese and I listen to Lori, and sometimes seasons surprise us.
Do you think we wait for a season to arrive?
Or do we decide, “One day I’ll go to the gym and then it’ll become my season of running”?
Is a season something active? Is it a doing word?
JOLANDI
Seasons require waiting, and sometimes you have to be patient.
There’s nothing you can do about certain things.
When you’re in a season with small children, there are things you simply can’t do.
Before children, I was very active.
I stopped a lot of it once I had children.
I stopped playing golf when we had our first child, and my husband stopped when we had our second.
Only later did those things come back to us.
Sometimes there are seasons where you have to wait.
Sometimes you wish you could stay in a particular season forever, and then unfortunately it changes because that’s life.
But, in the same breath, nothing changes if you don’t change things.
You can’t just sit back and expect everything to change by itself.
Sometimes change requires action.
So there are two sides to it.
Sometimes you need patience.
Sometimes you need to act.
And the action doesn’t have to be big.
ELANA
Effectively, what you give people is sleep.
It might sound like “just sleep”, but sleep is life, especially when your babies are very small.
It’s an incredible gift to give families.
We’ve been talking about how seasons give us gifts.
Menopause gives us many struggles, but it’s beautiful that Therese can bring humour into it.
Lori has spoken about the lessons that came from her unexpected season of recovery.
In your season of sleep and helping families, what does it do for you when you help a household?
JOLANDI
It still fills my heart to this day.
I’ve been doing this for more than 12 years and I’m still surprised by how wonderful it is when a family tells me that their child is sleeping better or had a great night.
Everybody is excited because sleep really is one of the greatest gifts a family can have.
It doesn’t just change the night.
It changes the day significantly.
Sleep doesn’t remove the challenges of parenting, but it gives you the capacity to cope with them.
I’ve had so many parents tell me that it changed not only their child’s personality or eating habits, but that their marriage became better.
Their connection with their partner is better.
Their connection with their child is better.
Their relationship with themselves is better.
To be part of even a small part of that journey with a family is a blessing.
ELANA
Did you ever imagine that the season you went through would one day serve other people?
You know what a season of no sleep feels like.
Did you ever imagine you’d be in a position where you could help so many people because of that season?
JOLANDI
Not at all.
Never.
I always wanted my own business, but even having children wasn’t necessarily something I had always dreamed about.
Sometimes I feel guilty saying that because I know there are so many women who desperately want children.
In some ways, motherhood came very easily to me.
But getting married and having children completely changed my life, and it became one of the most wonderful gifts I’ve ever been given.
I’m so glad I have it.
But I never imagined this would become my job.
That’s exactly the thing: you plan your life, and then life happens to you.
A season can arrive unexpectedly and then, somehow, you take advantage of it and it grows into something like this.
We often think we need to know everything.
We think, “I have to do everything myself. I should know this.”
But nobody really knows it all.
One of the biggest things I’ve realised is that life is not meant to be done alone.
Especially parenting.
Parents should allow other people the opportunity to positively impact their children.
Parenting isn’t meant to be done alone.
You can learn so much from other people.
Fifteen years ago, Jolandi was a sleep idiot!
I knew nothing about sleep.
Now I can confidently say I’m a sleep expert and I know what I’m talking about.
But I wasn’t always there.
We sometimes think motherhood should come naturally and we should automatically know what we’re doing.
Some things do come naturally.
But it’s also okay to learn, grow and become better at something.
Before you know it, something you once really struggled with and thought you couldn’t do might even become your profession – and you could end up changing other people’s lives.
ELANA
I think this is an opportunity for everyone to weigh in.
It’s wonderful that we’re talking about how our seasons – no matter how crazy, laughable or serious – seem to teach us something.
Lori, if you look at the past year and everything that’s happened, what do you wish every parent knew about the season they’re currently in?
What has your season taught you?
LORI
That even if it’s a season you didn’t choose, perhaps it arrived at the right time and it arrived for your growth.
Even if it’s challenging and testing you, embrace it.
Accept it.
Get curious and ask: “What am I not seeing? What is this here to teach me?”
Maybe, to Jolandi’s point, it’s a wake-up call that says, “Actually, I can’t do this by myself. I need help.”
Whatever it is, allow it to teach you.
Embrace the season rather than resisting the season.
ELANA
Therese, we know you as someone who can be incredibly funny and talented, but you’re also very serious when you need to be.
I didn’t know infertility was part of your journey.
When you look at the seasons of your life, what have they taught you?
THERESE
This too shall pass.
That’s a big one for me.
And that also applies to the good things.
When you’re in the thick of something, it’s very difficult to focus on what’s in front of you.
If things are difficult, remind yourself that they aren’t going to last forever.
You’re stronger and more capable than you think.
Believe in yourself.
Trust the skills and the friendships you’ve built over your life.
Use them.
And, more than anything, I’ve learned to trust my gut.
You feel things inside.
If something inside you is telling you something, listen to it.
ELANA
Jolandi, there must come a moment where you pause and look back and say, “This season has served me.”
If you had the choice, would you do it all again?
Would you choose that season that eventually led to you teaching and helping other people, or does it remind you too much of how much you struggled?
JOLANDI
I would 100% do it again.
There’s no question about it.
The person I am today is because of those struggles.
We’ve all said it: you learn through those seasons and you grow.
I have an innate curiosity and need to grow and better myself in different ways – as a mom and as a person.
This feeds into that.
Parents change over the years. Things change and things stay the same.
But if I could do it all over again, I would keep going because it makes such a difference for parents.
Why would I keep what I’ve learned to myself?
It’s wonderful to be able to give this gift to parents and help them sleep better.
If I could speak to myself 15 years ago, I’d say: “Go for it.”
ELANA
I think sport is also such a big part of who you are.
You enjoy your golf, your training and your running.
How do you deal with failure?
If you’re sleep-training, trying to run a marathon or you’re out on the golf course and it simply doesn’t work – how do you deal with that?
JOLANDI
I’m boringly consistent!
For me, it’s about showing up.
I joke that I run because I get an adult participation trophy at the end – which is a medal!
Failure is part of life.
And I don’t necessarily see it as failure. I see it as an opportunity to grow and learn.
You cannot do everything perfectly.
I also don’t want to create this perception that I am perfect because, at the end of the day, I’m modelling things for my children too.
Life isn’t fair.
Life is difficult.
You will fail.
It’s about showing up again and being consistent.
That’s probably why I enjoy running and those kinds of things, because you can see that consistency pays off.
Even when you fail, tomorrow you get another opportunity to try again.
ELANA
That makes me think of something else.
Lori, do women put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect?
I’m raising my hand here!
I remember seeing Lori for a few coaching sessions – and I’m speaking out of coaching confidentiality here – and so much of it was about this notion of perfection.
Even today, I have to remind myself.
I recently made a little song for my kids that basically says, “It doesn’t have to be perfect.”
When I think about seasons and how we go through them, even when I look at Lori’s season, part of me thinks, “No, but I don’t want this for her. I don’t want her to be in pain.”
Do we put too much pressure on ourselves for everything to be perfect?
LORI
Sadly, yes.
I see it so often.
There’s a quote – and I can’t remember exactly who said it, so don’t quote me on the attribution – that perfectionism is one of the highest forms of self-abuse.
It’s a standard we cannot reach.
I remember working with a client once who kept saying, “It has to be perfect.”
I asked her, “If you got this perfect, how would you know? What would it look like?”
She couldn’t answer me.
I think we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves.
We hold ourselves against standards that create constant pressure.
And because we’re holding ourselves to those standards, the focus is always: “What can I improve?”
Instead of: “Where is my progress? What have I done well?”
Even if it’s something small.
If our focus is always on what’s missing, what we haven’t achieved yet or what isn’t right, then even a great life is going to feel as though something is always missing.
Have standards.
Of course we want to excel at the things we do.
But be kind to yourself along the way.
Brendon Burchard, the personal development expert, talks about being striving and satisfied, which I love.
You can have high standards while also being content.
We have this strange fear of contentment.
We think, “If I’m happy and I think things are great, then I’ll become complacent.”
Or, “If I’m not constantly pushing myself and being strict with myself, I’m not going to achieve.”
That’s a false sense of motivation.
Be realistic.
Go for excellence.
But be kind to yourself while you’re doing it.
And when you do reach something, acknowledge it.
ELANA
So many people listening to this podcast or watching our vodcast may be wondering, “When is my season going to arrive?”
And I can guarantee you, nobody is sitting there waiting for a season of pain or discomfort!
Therese, sometimes we’re actually in a good season.
What advice would you give to someone who perhaps wants to change something or create a new season for themselves?
THERESE
There is always an element of choice.
Look at what isn’t working for you.
What can you do differently?
What are you getting right?
What are you getting wrong?
What can you address?
What can you change?
And what is one small decision you can make?
You don’t have to make one enormous change.
Do something small.
Ask yourself: what do I want my daily life to look like?
What is the first step I can take to get there?
Baby steps.
ELANA
Kies Jou Kat started out as something that, for you and your business partner, came from a difficult place and from wanting to create and work.
It can be incredibly frustrating to know that you have this massive talent and yet the work isn’t necessarily there.
THERESE
It is frustrating.
Especially in our industry.
There can be periods where the work isn’t there.
The pool of opportunities can be small.
But sometimes you have to look at your skills differently.
What else can you do with what you already know?
Sometimes it’s a combination of lots of small things.
And there’s always that great “what if?”
What if I just go for it and try?
We become used to defining ourselves by the skills we already know we have.
But when you think about them differently, you can surprise yourself with what you’re able to create.
ELANA
We’re wishing everyone a season of flowers and beautiful blooming – that things will go well.
And even when they don’t go well, hopefully the season teaches us something so that eventually we can find those flowers and nuggets and teach other people from them.
Lori, now that all of this has happened and you’ve learned and grown, what season are you stepping into next?
LORI
A season of patience.
It’s a season of patience and integration.
ELANA
Would you wish for the previous season again?
LORI
It isn’t the sort of thing where you say, “Wow, I’d love to have surgery again!”
But I appreciate it so much.
I’ve grown and I’ve learned so much.
I would never wish it away.
I don’t think I’d want to have it again – and I’m doing everything I can to make sure it doesn’t happen again – but I have a deep appreciation for it.
ELANA
Jolandi, with all the good work you do and all the people you help, what does your next season look like?
JOLANDI
I think my next season is intentional presence.
My children are now at an age where they don’t need me as much as they used to.
They’re choosing whether or not they spend time with me.
So when I get those moments – which are unfortunately becoming less and less – I want to choose to be present with them.
For me, it’s really about intentional presence.
But with this change, and with them choosing not to spend as much time with me, it also means I have time again in a different way.
Time for Jolandi to grow, learn and rediscover Jolandi – as a mom, but also as myself.
ELANA
Therese, how many more “kats” can we still think of?
What does your next season look like?
THERESE
I think it’s a season of rediscovering myself and building my own self-belief.
Seeing that I can actually get something off the ground and build something has surprised me.
I’m learning to trust myself more.
It’s about self-confidence and getting out there.
It’s also about asking for help and bringing people into my circle who can help and empower me.
That’s my hope.
ELANA
As we end, the thing I’m bringing with me into September is this:
Lori and I share a birthday, and I always enjoy doing this with her too – I love giving.
Giving people things gives me the greatest satisfaction. I love seeing their response.
The one thing I’m carrying from the season I’m coming out of into my next season is this feeling of abundance.
I thank God that even when I don’t have everything I really want, I still feel like I have so much.
Because of that, I feel like I can give and give and give.
I love doing that.
That’s what I want to take with me into my next season – this feeling of abundance.
My kids are coming home today.
Just knowing I can cook for them and we can eat together makes me feel like I have so much.
And what I wish for all of you ladies is that same abundance.
I think what you’re doing is incredible.
Therese, I’ve known you for almost 30 years – certainly more than 25 years in this industry – and to see how you’ve reinvented yourself is incredible.
It pains me to know that everyone in this conversation has experienced pain, but that was a season too.
To see your development and growth, to see Lori sharing the season she is currently in, and to see Jolandi doing all these amazing things for people brings me so much joy.
I didn’t prepare you for this, but Lori always has the most beautiful quotes.
Lori, I want you to end this with a quote for us.
If you could give us any quote for whatever season we’re in, what would it be?
LORI
Can I give you two?
These are my go-tos. I believe in them wholeheartedly.
The first one is:
“Confidence shows up through the promises we keep to ourselves.”
And the other comes from Tony Robbins:
“The quality of your life is proportional to how much uncertainty you can comfortably live with.”
ELANA
I like the second one.
JOLANDI
A necessary one for parenting!
LORI
For anything, really.
The more comfortable we can become with discomfort – whether we’re between seasons, out of our depth or we simply don’t know what the next step looks like – the more we can hold that uncertainty, sit with it and be okay with it.
There’s so much strength in that.
THERESE
I have two quotes I love to live by too, although they’re much simpler!
The first is:
“Dream big and dare to fail.”
I love that because we’re so scared to take chances.
What if it doesn’t work?
Which links to the second one:
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
Honestly.
Try.
JOLANDI
Mine is:
Keep showing up.
Just keep showing up.
You don’t have to do it at 100%.
Just keep showing up.
ELANA
I have one too, and I obviously didn’t prepare it!
I always say to my kids, “But was there fire?”
And they say, “No.”
And then I say, “Then it can’t be that bad!”
I really do try to see the positivity in things because I think it’s necessary, and it saves me a lot of stress.
I often say to people, “You see? It wasn’t that bad.”
I had a phone call this week where one of my team members came to me with a very big problem.
We talked through it, and eventually I said:
“The day is finished. We must go to bed now.”
It’s okay to say the day is finished.
And the thing I probably say the most is: “I told you so.”
I give positive advice and then, when someone comes back and says, “Hey, it worked out,” I say, “I told you so!”
So I know things are going to go well for all three of you – and for everyone listening to this podcast.
And when you come back and say, “Hey, it’s going well with me,” I want to say:
I told you so.
Ladies, all the best with all your wonderful journeys.
Transcript edited for clarity and readability.
🔑 Key Takeaways
Name the season you’re in.
Giving a difficult or transitional period a name can help you accept what is happening and see it as one part of your life rather than your entire story.A season you didn’t choose can still teach you something.
Lori’s recovery from back surgery challenged her identity as the “strong one”, but also taught her patience, self-compassion and the importance of celebrating small wins.Don’t compare yourself in a new season to an old version of yourself.
Your capacity can change. What counted as a small achievement before might be a major win in the season you’re currently navigating.Progress is often made through micro-wins.
Ten-minute walks, daily exercises and small consistent actions can build into meaningful change – even when it doesn’t initially feel as though anything is happening.Some seasons require patience; others require action.
Jolandi reminds us that there are times in parenting when we simply have to wait, but also times when change will only happen if we take the first step.Sleep doesn’t remove parenting challenges – it gives us greater capacity to handle them.
Jolandi’s own experience of sleep deprivation eventually led her to a career helping other families find better sleep.Parenting was never meant to be done alone.
Asking for professional help, accepting support and allowing other trusted people to positively influence our children can be a strength rather than a failure.Humour can help us carry difficult seasons.
Therese’s journey shows how humour, friendship and creativity can coexist with painful experiences and even become the foundation for something new.Trust your gut.
One of Therese’s biggest lessons from the different seasons of her life is to listen when something inside you is telling you that something needs to change.Failure is part of showing up.
Jolandi describes herself as “boringly consistent”: success isn’t about doing everything perfectly, but continuing to show up even after something doesn’t go to plan.Perfection is an impossible standard.
Lori encourages us to pursue excellence without making kindness towards ourselves conditional on achieving it.Your next step doesn’t have to be huge.
If something in your life isn’t working, start with one small decision. Baby steps can become new seasons.Intentional presence matters as our children grow.
When children begin needing us differently, that season can become an opportunity both to be more intentional with the time we have with them and to rediscover ourselves outside of motherhood.Keep showing up.
You don’t have to give 100% every day. Sometimes continuing to show up is enough.