My ADHD Child, with psychiatrist, Dr Gagu Matsebula
My Child has ADHD... did I do something wrong?
Psychiatrist Dr Gagu Matsebula, our guest, makes it clear: parents, we did nothing wrong. Neurodivergent children is a complex concept, but in this discussion we unpack the details.
We share helpful advice for educational institutions like schools, and those taking care of children, offering creative solutions for ADHD children that might initially appear to be 'difficult.'
Brought to you by Epi-Max Baby & Junior - Our Family, for Your Family. Sponsored by Curaprox and supported by Jacaranda FM.
Also available on: Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
ABOUT DR GAGU MATSEBULA
Dr GS Matsebula is a psychiatrist in private practice at Akeso Randburg who has a passion for mental health promotion. He is the director of Mental Health Med, Inc - which runs mental health awareness campaigns and provides practical tools for managing stress, anxiety, and burnout to corporates.
His fields of interest are trauma informed care, depression, anxiety, workplace mental health, and the intersection between culture and mental health. He believes in the power of education and storytelling to break down stigma, foster understanding, and inspiring action towards better mental health for all.
Podcast Transcript:
Prefer to read instead? Here’s the full transcript from this episode of the Baby Brunch Podcast.
Short on time? Scroll to the key takeaways below.
HOST
Today on Parents and Baby Brunch, we’re talking about neurodiversity and ADHD — what it really means and how it shows up in our children.
We’re also unpacking how parents and schools can better understand and support neurodivergent children. So many parents reached out saying, “Our children are in schools where teachers don’t understand them.”
So today, we want to help parents better support children who experience and interact with the world differently.
Joining us is Dr Gagu Matsebula, who is no stranger to Baby Brunch. Thank you for being with us again.
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
Thank you for having me.
HOST
Let’s start with ADHD. It feels like everyone is talking about it lately.
Are we overdiagnosing ADHD? Is it underdiagnosed? Or are we finally just understanding it better?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
I actually prefer the term “uncovering.”
The science has improved, the research has improved, and the language around ADHD has improved. We’re now better able to identify children and teens who genuinely need support.
In the past, children with ADHD were often labelled as lazy, naughty, silly, or slow — terms I really dislike. Many of those children never received the support they needed.
Instead, they were punished, isolated, or misunderstood.
So this isn’t necessarily an epidemic — it’s an important uncovering.
HOST
Are there different types of ADHD? And how does it show up in children who aren’t necessarily hyperactive?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
Absolutely — there are different presentations of ADHD.
With hyperactive ADHD, children struggle to sit still. They fidget, leave their seats, interrupt others, and often seem constantly “on the go.”
There’s also impulsivity — blurting out answers, interrupting conversations, or struggling to regulate emotions.
Then there’s inattentive ADHD. These are the children who may appear to daydream, struggle to focus, forget things, lose items, or start tasks without finishing them.
ADHD begins in childhood, is lifelong, and affects multiple areas of life — school, friendships, home life, and emotional wellbeing.
HOST
How early can ADHD be identified?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
We can usually make a reliable diagnosis from around six years old.
Younger children naturally struggle with sitting still or waiting their turn — that can be developmentally normal.
But if symptoms are severe, persistent, emotionally distressing, or creating safety concerns, then it’s important to consult a clinician for proper assessment.
Online questionnaires can be helpful starting points, but an accurate diagnosis should always come from a professional.
HOST
Do ADHD symptoms present differently in boys and girls?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
Yes, they often do.
In boys, symptoms tend to be more externalised — we see more running, climbing, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.
In girls, symptoms are often more internalised — difficulty paying attention, missing details, seeming distracted, or struggling with focus.
The core symptoms are the same, but the presentation can look different.
HOST
Many parents ask whether ADHD is caused by parenting, stress, lifestyle, or diet. Did we do something wrong?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
This is one of my favourite questions because it often comes with guilt that parents shouldn’t be carrying.
ADHD has a very strong genetic component. Genes play a major role in how the brain develops and functions.
Things like normal stress during pregnancy, vaccines, or everyday parenting do not cause ADHD.
There are certain risk factors — such as severe maternal illness during pregnancy or extreme prematurity — but there is no single cause and it is not something parents “switch on.”
HOST
Can children outgrow ADHD?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
ADHD evolves over time.
Hyperactivity in childhood often becomes more internalised in adulthood — presenting as restlessness or a mind that “won’t switch off.”
Impulsivity can show up later as difficulty with long-term planning or impulsive spending.
Attention difficulties often continue into adulthood.
Only about 10% of people truly outgrow ADHD completely. For most people, the symptoms remain lifelong, although they may become more manageable.
HOST
Let’s talk about schools. Where do schools get it right — and where do they get it wrong?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
A very important concept here is masking.
Many neurodivergent children spend the entire school day pretending to cope like everyone else. They force themselves to sit still, follow instructions, and manage socially — often at enormous emotional cost.
By the time they get home, they’re emotionally exhausted.
That’s why some children appear “fine” at school but completely fall apart at home. It’s not bad behaviour — it’s burnout from masking all day.
HOST
How important is parent training?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
It’s incredibly important.
A clinician can guide parents toward reliable resources and help them better understand their child’s needs.
One of the biggest benefits of parent education is that it shifts the mindset from:
“What’s wrong with my child?”
to:
“What does my child need?”
That change alone can improve the parent-child relationship dramatically.
HOST
There’s still a lot of fear around ADHD medication. How should families think about it?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
Medication is simply one tool in a bigger support toolbox.
It does not turn children into zombies, change their personalities, or make them addicted.
When appropriately monitored, ADHD medication is one of the safest and most researched treatments in child psychiatry.
Yes, there can be side effects — like appetite suppression or irritability — but those should be discussed and managed with a clinician.
The goal is to help children function better and protect their self-esteem.
HOST
Beyond medication, what practical things can families do at home?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
There are many practical strategies that can help:
Use visual reminders and checklists
Create consistent routines
Break instructions into smaller steps
Set up designated spaces for school bags, shoes, and belongings
Prioritise healthy sleep habits
Limit screens before bedtime
Encourage balanced nutrition
Small interventions can make a significant difference over time.
HOST
If you could change one thing about society’s understanding of neurodivergent children, what would it be?
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
I would want the world to understand that a child’s value is not linked to their ability to sit still.
Their value lies in their creativity, resilience, personality, and perspective.
Society often places too much emphasis on productivity and performance.
But every child’s worth is inherent — not based on what they can “do,” but on who they are.
HOST
One parent asked whether bedwetting at six years old could be linked to something developmental.
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
That would require proper assessment by a clinician.
There are many possible contributing factors — developmental, emotional, or environmental — and it’s important not to jump to conclusions without professional guidance.
HOST
Another parent asked about autism spectrum disorder and how to support children without them being labelled unfairly at school.
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
Autism is also a form of neurodivergence.
Children on the autism spectrum may struggle with communication, social interaction, or changes in routine.
Without support, it can negatively affect their self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.
Again, the best step is seeking professional support early.
HOST
Thank you so much for joining us and helping unpack such an important conversation.
DR GAGU MATSEBULA
It’s only a pleasure. Thank you for having me.
HOST
For more support on neurodiversity and all our other podcasts, visit babybrunch.co.za.
(Transcript edited for clarity and readability)
Key Takeaways
ADHD is not “new” — it’s being better understood
Improved awareness and diagnosis mean more children are finally receiving the support they need.There are different types of ADHD
Some children present with hyperactivity and impulsivity, while others struggle mainly with attention and focus.ADHD often looks different in boys and girls
Boys may show more externalised behaviours, while girls are more likely to present with inattentive symptoms.Parents do not “cause” ADHD
ADHD has a strong genetic component and is not caused by parenting style, vaccines, or normal stress during pregnancy.ADHD is lifelong for most people
Symptoms may evolve over time, but only a small percentage of people completely outgrow ADHD.Masking can be emotionally exhausting
Many neurodivergent children spend the school day trying to appear “normal,” leading to emotional overwhelm at home.Parent education is incredibly valuable
Understanding a child’s needs can reduce stress and strengthen the parent-child relationship.Medication is one tool — not the whole solution
ADHD medication can be safe and effective when monitored properly and used alongside supportive strategies.Small practical strategies can make a big difference
Routines, visual reminders, sleep, structure, and supportive environments all help children thrive.A child’s worth is not linked to performance
Neurodivergent children have inherent value rooted in who they are — their creativity, resilience, identity, and perspective.